When will Ugandan women ever flourish?

6th March 2009

By Atuki Turner

On March 8 we will celebrate International Women’s Day. This is the day wool is pulled over women’s eyes and speeches are made about how much we have achieved — but the speeches are sadly distorted because they hide how little we have really changed. We need to reflect on a way forward for women. It is in the wake of this year’s celebrations that I choose to write about flourishing as a woman.

Flourishing Women

We have all come across the type of woman who arrests our attention because of her vibrancy, energy, contentment, and laughter. These are what we call flourishing women. You might come across them at work, on the streets, in the marketplace, or at a conference.

What you notice most about them is that they are comfortable in their own skin, and it shows — through their smile, laughter, walk, or how they apply themselves to their work. I call such women flourishing women, and I believe these women do not suffer domestic violence.

Many women think they are superwomen. They think they can suffer humiliation, abuse, and violence in the home and then go out into the world and pretend nothing has happened. But sadly, they are fooling no one.

You can dress smart, work hard, deliver reports on time, smile and even laugh — but there is a way in which your smartness lacks appeal, your work lacks fun, your smile does not reach your eyes, and your laughter stops short. You may be in a crowd but still feel lonely.

People may not suspect the cause of your demeanor, of course, but they will instinctively know that not all is well with you. Most times they will say, “So-and-so is not really happy,” and leave it at that.

On the other hand, a flourishing woman (FW) is easy to spot.

I hesitate to name names, but since this is about role models, let us go out boldly. Who does not get a lift of the heart by watching America’s Oprah Winfrey — a woman so totally at home in her own skin that we all wish we could inhabit it with her?

I suspect Oprah does not suffer violence at home. The same could be said of film star Whoopi Goldberg. Like Oprah, she may have suffered violence in her early days, but that’s all in the past.

When one comes across Whoopi now, she is a terrifying ghost determined to fix people’s lives; she is an awfully stubborn nun (not too much unlike real nuns); she is a woman dressed as a man — she is larger than life — that is our Whoopi. At Madame Tussauds in London, where they have life-like wax figures of the world’s important people, that cheeky high cheek-boned smile of Whoopi’s wax figure made me smile the most. I imagine Whoopi would not tolerate domestic violence.

Nations that support their womenfolk by putting in place measures that protect women and enable them to enjoy equal opportunities in education, health, and employment — liberate their women and allow them to flourish.

If women do not flourish, they shrink. To take this analogy further, one can talk about states in which women flourish.

If I asked anybody about women they may know from the US, they would be sure to mention Oprah, Condoleezza Rice (stateswoman), Aretha Franklin (singer), Toni Morrison (writer), Maya Angelou (poet), and of course Michelle (lawyer) — and these are just the ones that share the same skin color as the President of the US.

Coming back to home terrain, let us talk about Maggie Kigozi. I just had a glimpse of her at a meeting, but there was this glow to her face, nicely completed with a brilliant smile. Each time I see her face in the papers, there is the same glow. She is a flourishing woman.

There are flourishing men too, but that is a topic for next time. (Just a note to say, do not think that flourishing men are men who do not suffer violence. Rather, these are men who treat their women well — picture Will Smith, the film star.) Believe me, flourishing has nothing to do with wealth, health, or beauty. It is not tangible, but more a state of mind.

So let us imagine Uganda was a state in which women flourished and there was no need to spend much energy fighting for women’s rights.

Well, I imagine Betty Kamya might be Commander-in-Chief of military detail, charting out how to prevent war and ensure peace in Uganda.

Dr. Sylvia Tamale, with gay rights finally legalized, would be writing tonnes of the history of the struggle of the women of Africa.

Miriam Matembe would be holding the position of Oprah Winfrey in Uganda — for never have I heard a speaker make such deadly points in such a funny way. And Salaam Musumba — well, she could do very well leading the first delegation from Uganda to meet her cousin-brother in the White House.

I look forward to the day when women do not need to be a First Lady or royalty in Uganda to flourish.

The writer is the Executive Director of MIFUMI, a women’s rights agency working to protect women and children from violence.

 

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